Just a thought;

''I do not want to be one of those people who talk about or write about ''my cancer'' but just humor me on this thought ...

      I now truly believe that the ego and the unconscious mind walk hand-in-hand ... picture this ... you, [I] receive a great deal of attention from doctors who's main aim is to cure you as a patient, but they still have to be in detachment, and by then your illness is programed into your identity which becomes .. 
''this is me now'' .. which is the ego ... or from other people, which in turn will constantly confirm in your thoughts to identify you as a 'sufferer', and that's the attachment,  you then consciously and with the help of the ego hold onto the 'illness' both physically and mentally because right now it has got your attention as to who you think and feel yourself to be.  Without any warning the 'illness' and the thoughts become the most important part of you, your mind and your ego and therefore you have given the ego a new thought to which it can and will identify itself with and it don't-want to let go, because now the ego is getting what it wants, attention and as for the unconscious thought, it will rise into the very active consciousness where the ego now is in control of it's new identity.

     It has been said that the ego will create illnesses just to strengthen it's identity and just to have more of what it wants, attention-control.  So if I feel this way about it how come I let this happen. Well the unconscious mind brought 'alive' the thought that moved into the conscious mind for the ego to keep the whole thing 'alive' and that's why I say the ego and the unconscious mind are just waiting for the opportunity to walk hand-in-hand.

      I am not making out cancer to be just like a cold symptom or to be taken lightly for we are all born with cancer cells in our body but what I feel might work for me is to approach it from the ego and therefore I think that if I try to generate 'good thoughts' about it, then and only then the ego will lose interest and let go, and as for the cancer itself .. well that's where the doctor comes into the play, as in my case, to cut it out or I can let nature take it's course .. freewill. 

      No matter how you perceive what your body looks like on the outside is irrelevant, because within, and I include the mind here there is an energy that is intensely alive that is the playground for the ego and the unconscious mind and having said that I believe both the cancer and the ego are very 'stupid'. For them to be 'alive' they both need a host to 'feed' on, and ... that's me, [you].  Now both have the capability on their own terms to kill off the host ... that's me, [you] ... but that's only if they get the better of me and take total control but I too can play this game, because I feel I have the advantage of being in the awareness [consciousness] of the game and the rules [Life] 
Me, as in my awareness in trying to keep it all in the present time I would feel can only help to change the game rules and therefore creating another thought form where by the ego has no more attention and then the cancer itself cannot grow which in turn strengthens the mind, body and the immune system on the physical side and on the energy side creates a new shift.

      So how do I try to keep it all together ... by trying not to give it any thought [detachment] and by not feeding into others ego [attachment] .. easy said but not so easy to do, because there are days and there will be days, and I have had them, when your own awareness will come down and then the ego slips in to regain it's identity.  Now two things can happen here, you can sit with the ego and let all the negative thoughts take over or you can move yourself into the awareness [consciousness] of what's happening and put positive thoughts into play, both of these actions take a lot of energy on your part to play out their part because both feel they have the right to you [I] ... and they do, but it comes down as to how you [I] see yourself in the new shift in your life.
So how do I try to keep it all together ... by staying in the present moment with myself through peace and anger and to look at this 'cancer' as a new shift into my energy and my creativity and
maybe I too can transform.
I .. you .. choose to be positive because all of us has and had misfortunes just as everyone has and had happiness. Life as it is,
is not a matter of chance but a matter of choice ... freewill
and there is nothing to search for that what is called Nirvana,
because birth and death are nirvana and in between ... living out old and making new Karma and if this was realised all worry about being 'perfect' will go and the mind is set free ...
but there is Karma that has yet to set itself free.''

....

Keep a look-out on my blog http://www.deedaf.blogspot.com  for my life size sculpture in clay, titled ..  'I wish I was Transformer'

''As human beings our mind is highly intelligent beyond what we truly understand and yet that very same intelligence is home to madness ...

Think about wars and abuse to fellow human beings as in torture, slavery
and just being pure evil.'' 

''Who ever you are and who ever you are with, wherever you go and whatever you do in life you will encounter pain, grief, suffering and happiness it will all come into play some time sooner or later, you cannot run from it because it's inherent in the human condition.'' 

''If we leave things as they are, I feel man is doing a very fine job in destroying himself and the planet for future generations to clean up.''

''Take life with a pinch of salt ...

 but you will need lot's of spice as well.''

''Do not take to heart what other people say, do or impose on you, at first it will affect you but let it pass through you and let them bleed in their own ignorance because their ignorance is also their pain.''

''I pay-as-I-go but I did not expect to be going all the way now ...

{said in expectation of the bills I will be paying out to cure my cancer ... see my quotes on 'money'}.''

''When you take something on outside of creativity you try to bring it to a logical conclusion ... 

but if you are in 'creative mood'

logic has no place,

for creativity is a paradox.''

''Marriage is one easy contract to enter into, 

 please sign on the dotted line,

and one minefield to get out of, 

please sign on All pages marked X.''

''The man who travels the road on his own is the man who can live with himself.''

''Those who do not believe in magic will never find. The magic I talk about is the awareness we can reach in our lifetime,
we can come from low to the high,
now that's real magic.'' 

''The world is as it is ...

I am just passing through

but the imprint I leave behind

helps to make the world as it is.''

Just a thought ...

       ''Up until now I have written quite a few quotes on Freewill and now would like to add my own thoughts on it.

Freewill put into action determines our life and character. It came with us when we were born into this energy in order for us to, put it simply live out our life, but I also think it's all about Destiny with a capital 'D'. As human beings we are given the choice by nature to use what we call the 'freewill', the animal kingdom is already doing so. If we feel we are using our 'freewill', even by 50% then we are full-filling our Destiny and it leaves us believing we are in control of our own destiny and I feel that is o.k. for it allows Destiny to play a greater part in our life as it opens the way for more opportunities to happen ... so Destiny and Freewill go hand in hand, but say we do not use our freewill, then I think Destiny will feel we are content in our ways and leave us to ourselves, stuck in time and in our mind and if this happens then we might miss that 'golden opportunity'. There is the point too that we could also become ill in our body or mind or both ... it's a 'Catch 22' situation but remember this, that in using your freewill you take sole responsibility for your actions. There is no point on bended knees in asking an unseen 'god' to intervene on your behalf , for your 'god' could very well tell you on that 'last day' .. but I gave you freewill .. You cannot pass blame on to remove a guilt ... if you feel you want to blame something or someone else or a 'god' for your actions of the outcome, you are wasting your time for you yourself most take full credit as if things are the way that you feel they should be and then maybe Destiny will 'run' with you in the knowing that you are not afraid to take a chance in your life ... Freewill.'' 

Just on an after thought .... 

''You have 'freedom' in your thoughts which can be brought into reality through the use of the freewill and this action, good or bad brought into reality can be irreversible but remember this, it is impossible to exercise freewill 100% as long as we are operating from within the system of a structured society, so in order for freewill to act 100% we must step outside of the structured system to find our selves and to make the right choices that reflect what we truly feel and believe is right for us, at least it is better than what we have been taught to feel and believe as being right for us .. these are the freewill actions of others which were right for them in their time and then we will be living out their 'actions' which is not our choice. We should be looking at the world through our own eyes and feelings and not through the feelings and experiences of others. It should be said that if a human beings have the freedom to do good they also have the freedom to do bad and freewill put into use is what has made evil things possible and also good things and I will say this again ... Freewill, though it makes evil possible is also the only thing that makes possible the experience of love or goodness or joy worth having in our life. We have the freewill to use in our life time the freedom to decide through the reasoning mind to be saint or sinner.

I chose to be an Artist which I would like to think is both a saint and a sinner.'' 

www.deedaf.blogspot.com 

''Look on life as a stage play and you are the lead actor,

as events crop up in your life you may change your 'character' to suit the situation or you can sit with it, this is Freewill in action ... in life and death we have our 'lead role' to play-out but do you want to write your own script or play-out someone else's interpretation of what life should be ...

it's all about Freewill and in knowing

 your Freewill is the motivation for you to be the

 'lead actor'.''

''In being original means you go beyond the

accepted norms.''

''Sculpture, besides it's overall context as to what it is and the making process is a way of life for me that's more devotional than a religious belief.''

http://www.deedaf.blogspot.com/

''It's when you start to be really afraid of dying that you appreaciate life.''

''You are not in this world to live up

to other peoples expectations ...

life is not about kissing ass.''

Just a thought ...{from the other side of the ego}
''The ego recognizes that we are all subject to self-deception and to a variety of wish-fulling illusions that can pop into the mind at anytime and therefore will use the thought to control the emotions and strengthen the illusion which in turn can take over the mind .... [ I give up ].''